I can see clearly now. I needed to trust my inner guidance system and work the areas in my life bit by bit. The first thing to focus on was to regain my self worth which was a biggie for me.
Templates created from childhood
Templates are established when we have seen, learnt and been told something as a child and believed it to be true. Our belief system.
The story going around in my head, keeping me awake at night. The words I’m not good enough overriding any good thoughts and feelings ever being possible. My secret, and once you understand your story from childhood, your templates, you have something to work with.
I believed everything I was told, or had seen, to be gospel and never questioned it. I had lived a very sheltered insecure childhood into my early adult years, and so the story went for another 20 years.
Enough now, time to step up
After drawing the line in the sand and saying enough now, I did a deep dive into the rabbit hole.
It took a massive commitment in changing the thoughts, the templates (Beliefs) that had been set in stone.
Because I didn’t have any formal qualifications, and a high school dropout, I use to think that I was inadequate lacking in self worth. Go figure, but it seemed real at the time.
Revisiting my wound
It was time to do a review of my life an audit, to see where this was coming from. I mostly earned good money, AND, worked from home for the most, without a piece of paper, so what was my problem. I identified that this thought, or feeling came from my childhood, what I had heard, or been told.
A template had been created, that said unless you have the piece of paper you are not worthy. Unless you have been to university you are dumb. Of course I can laugh about that now. Going back to my childhood where it all began, and updated or removed my templates that no longer served me. I was no longer the child, I was the 58 year old woman.
I soon realised that life skills, and improving my emotional intelligence were my subjects, my qualification if you like, the key to unlock me. This is how to get back my self worth which was the biggest challenge for me. It is very exciting like a game now to know that I can make changes to everything and anything in my life.
See with the eyes, not through them
The light bulb moment once discovering I could change that thought or feeling at any moment, was truly inspiring. How much difference in my life with this new piece of information. I realise now that, It is definitely not that piece of paper that was important to me.
This was just one aspect of my life, there were many more light bulb moments which are covered in my book.
It was time to share the story, the story that brought rise to gratitude for being alive right now, and knowing what I am here to do. Thank you with inspiration Karen.
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